I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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