i think i scared a bird with my dick
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
