i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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