Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
