i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
