is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
