I wish I could punch you in the face.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize