But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
