listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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