Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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