so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize