remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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