if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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