Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
