ugly people sure do ruin things
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
