My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
