You smell like stripper and shame
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
