direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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