time to smoke my breakfast
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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