worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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