he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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