Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
