i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
