Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
