If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
