it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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