I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
