My room smells like vodka and shame
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize