I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
