Apparently you make a good broom.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
