just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
