A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
