I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
