Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
