You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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