honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
