just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
