I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
