A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
