If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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