my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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