I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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