He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
