I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
