If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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