Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
