we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
