I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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