u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
