Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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