he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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