i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
