I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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