When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
People in love make me want to vomit
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize