I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
