my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
